Our family won the Search for Model OFW Family of the Year Awards (MOFYA) Region X. This is "An annual event of the Overseas Workers’ Welfare Administration (OWWA), MOFYA aims to give recognition to OFW’s and their families who have demonstrated steady and enduring family ties, outstanding community service and financial stability." http://www.ugnayan.com/ph/MisamisOriental/CagayandeOro/article/XPB
This is the story I sent for the said Search...
A Sacrifice Worth the Sacrificing
By Fr. Erdman B. Pandero
It has been a while since I have been thinking of writing a piece for the most sacrificing father I have known. I want to write his life – which is also our life – so that my nephews and niece will know who the father of this family is, and who made this family what it is now. It is the love of the grandfather they barely know, of the person they barely see, of the sacrifice they barely understand.
My father was born on November 30, 1947 in Gata, Clarin, Misamis Oriental. He is the youngest of a very poor family. He has 2 sisters and a brother he loves so much. When I visited his place sometime in the year 1993, I learned that my father used to sell banana leaves just for him to have money to buy rice – this he did at a very young age. He stopped schooling when he was 9 years old because lolo and lola then parted ways. He went with lolo and started to make ends meet. By then, papa told me once, he wanted to build a family that would not experience the pains and the sufferings he had gone through. Amidst all these, my father is still a very happy and bubbly person. He is well-known for his happy disposition and his sweet and sincere smiles and laughter.
When papa was growing up, he promised himself that he would marry a professional woman because he wanted to have professional children. He had a handful of relationships but none he took seriously because they were – as he said – as poor as he was. He dreamed that someday, he would have a woman who could give him professional children. Schooling was so much of an issue for papa, probably because he was an intelligent boy but had no means of going to school.
Papa travelled from almost all over Mindanao to find a living. He worked his way up in a logging company from a mere messenger to becoming a foreman. Him being unschooled was never a hindrance to his dreams. He was then assigned in Bangonay, Jabonga, Agusan del Norte. Fate had it that my mama lived in that town and was also working in the same company.
My mama, on the other hand, lived a decent life during her growing up years. In their little and remote town, they were among those who had good reputation and were stable financially. My mama was also the youngest in the family and by that time her sisters and brothers had established good business in the hometown. Mama was never used to taking her bath in the common bath – which was then on a common well. In the workplace, her brothers would normally bring water from their hometown to the barrio – an almost 7 kms. distance – just for mama to have her bath inside the rented house. Papa saw mama. He saw her as “maarte and edukada” and vowed to himself that he would marry this woman. He wanted to have children like her. He wanted to build a family with her. The courting started. Papa did not court mama, instead he courted my lola. They were married and papa brought mama to his own place.
The family lived in Trento, Agusan del Sur. They had then my eldest sister Ate Erma. Mama graduated BS in Commerce major in Accounting so she was easily accepted to work at the town in the Treasurer’s Office. It was a decent job for mama. However, papa felt that mama was earning more. He wanted to raise the family as the word husband was defined during that time – husbands were the ones to feed the family. Mama respectfully and lovingly obliged with papa. She quit the job so that papa would still be the head of the family.
After some time, the family transferred from Trento, Agusan del Sur to Davao City to San Fernando, Bukidnon. Life was difficult. Papa could not find a decent job because he was unschooled. But he kept on trying. Mama was there always by his side to support him with all his decisions. There were even times, I was told, that the family was so hard up but papa did not allow mama to go to the farm. Mama was always at home to take care of their 3 children. She had not tried to do menial works for the family. Papa was and has always been the breadwinner of the family. Papa has always been so protective and so caring with mama.
An opportunity came. Papa got a job as a janitor at CDCP – a company up in Dicklum, Manolo Fortich, Bukidnon. He was a janitor, a time-keeper, an all-around boy in that company – and he loved his job so much. He was also admired by his bosses. CDCP got a project contract to work in building roads in Saudi Arabia. One day, papa was so excited as he went home. He told mama that who could afford to fly to Manila could have their chance to work in Saudi Arabia. Most of the bosses in the company could not make it because they had no money for fare. They needed only some few days to prepare and off they should go. Papa wanted to join the team but we did not have any money for his fare – so papa thought! But mama, who is so good with saving-for-the-rainy-day practice, told papa that she was able to save some amount in the bank. From the meager pay papa was receiving, mama was able to save. With that money, papa’s dream was then turning into a reality.
Papa flew to Saudi Arabia in the year 1983. The family went down to Villanueva, Misamis Oriental because mama had a sister who was also living in the nearby town. At first we rented a house. But a year after, mama was able to buy 400 sq.m lot with an old nipa hut on it. Papa first came home in the year 1986 and went back to Saudi a month later. After a year, mama bought another piece of land just in front of our house. We built a bigger house and transferred there in the year 1987. Life has been good for the family. Mama bought a rice field and some other things. We all went to school and did our best to be what papa dreamed for us, to become professionals.
In the year 1989, papa came home. He had some second thoughts of going back to Saudi Arabia because jobs were becoming more and more difficult. But he told mama that he had no choice, he could not have good-paying job in the Philippines. He wanted all of us to finish our studies so off he went again without any assurance that he could find another job. Mama had to feed the family from the savings she had because papa need to find job for months and months. It was just barely a year when papa landed a job when Gulf War broke out. It was then one of the most difficult years of the family. My ate was then in college taking up BS in Nursing, while me and maning Lemlem were in a private school. Slowly we were running out
of savings so mama need to sell whatever we had – the extra piece of land, the rice field and some of the things we had accumulated. It happened not because we were spending too much. It happened because it was what the situation called for. We need to sell what we had so we could still continue with our studies.
We did survive that difficulty, not with flying colors though. However, before we could barely move forward, we had to face again another trial as a family – the teenage pregnancy of my ate. We stood by her as a family. Not a single bad word came out of mama’s lips. We had to be with ate in that most trying times. But we need to keep it a secret from papa. He was so far from us and we didn’t know what his reaction would be. Ate, though she was pregnant, had to continue schooling. It was difficult for her physically and emotionally but we held on as a family. Maning and I took turns in taking care of the loveliest angel in the family – our first born nephew. Then came the day none of knew how to handle – papa’s homecoming. We didn’t know when the date would be. One day, he was there at our doorsteps. I opened the door and didn’t know what to do. Mama was at a neighbor’s house carrying Quinn2, the handsome angel of the family. Papa looked at mama carrying a baby. Mama handed the baby to papa and said, “Loy, anak ni Inday.” Papa took the baby, hugged him and asked, “nakatapos ba?” Mama said, “yes.” Papa then became an instant nanny for baby Quinn2 all of his stay at home. He loved my nephew like his own son. Ate did not hear any bad word coming from papa. My brother-in-law, manong Julius, was also accepted and was so loved by papa as his own. The incident taught us what true love is, what a family is, and what real sacrifice is all about.
My sister went to college, took up BS in Engineering but decided later on that she wanted to marry though she was not yet done with her studies. Papa and Mama consented with her plans and she got married at the age of 20. Papa is such a great father and mama is incomparable. The love that they have for us is a love that asks nothing in return. My sister shifted to BS in Education after her marriage. As siblings, we had one thing in our minds; we need to finish our studies. We felt that papa and mama sacrificed their time with each other just for all of us to get better education. Maning, as she has always been, received excellent grades all her college years. She excelled in her field, married a very good and handsome partner, manong Ian. She finished her studies, passed the board exam, and went to take Masters in Education some years later.
On my part, I entered the seminary in 1996. I knew then that papa would have difficulty accepting my decision. He wanted me to raise my own family and carry his family name. He wanted to have grandchildren of his own family name. I knew papa would want something for me but I also know that he loved me more than his dreams. I pursued the priesthood. But when I was at Xavier University, I wanted papa to be very proud of me. I graduated at the top of my class and was awarded Magna Cum Laude. I desired to give papa the honor due for what he had done to my family. I was one of the Top Ten Students of Region X for 2001. I am so inspired to do great things in life because I wanted papa to be proud of his children.
Now, I have 6 nephews and 1 niece. They are so close with mama but they know little about papa. They see how loving and caring mama is but they hardly feel much of this from
papa. The reason being he was so away from us. But every time we gather as a family, we made it a point that we talk about papa and how he sacrificed for the family. Papa spent most of his lifetime working just to give his children a better future.
Where does his sacrifice bring the family to? Ate Erma is now a Registered Nurse working as a Rural Health Nurse in our hometown. Her husband manong Julius is an Engineer at a nearby Coal-Powered Plant. She has 3 gorgeous boys and 1 fine young girl. She has her house built just a foot away from our own house. Mama would normally take her breakfast with them.
Maning Lem-lem is an educator with a Masters in Special Education. She is working as a SPED teacher at a nearby town. Her husband Manong Ian is a Business and Management graduate and is now working as a company driver at the same plant where manong Julius is working. Maning has 3 handsome boys. She built her house some 200 meters away from our own. Mama would normally take her supper with them.
I am now a priest. I am working as the Vice-Chancellor of the Archdiocese. I am staying with the Archbishop and is helping him with his paper works.
Should papa decide to be home, they will not be having any financial difficulties. Papa bought a piece of land in Cotabato and had it planted with Rubber Trees. Mama has also a piece of land inherited from her parents in her hometown. Mama has her own pension from the government and papa will also have his own pension should he decide to be home for good. After years of working, they will both grow old gracefully. They need not worry about their children and they need not pay anyone for debt. They can now live their love in their simply abode surrounded by the love of their children and their grandchildren.
We gather together as a family almost every week. We normally stay at mama’s place and talk just about anything. The family has become what papa and mama wanted it to be, simple and closely-knit family. We do have some misunderstandings once in a while but it was never a cause of our division. We have learned to accept who we are as a family and tried to love one another no matter what. We are all preparing for the day when papa will decide that he will stay with mama and retire for good.
Papa and mama sacrificed so much for this family but looking back, it was a sacrifice worth sacrificing.
Wow... grabe ka insipiring...
ReplyDeleteKuy, continue this blog...